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Made of Glass, Made of Stone

by Starter Garden

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    Debut album, with artwork by Carolyn Ambriano

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1.
The sun collapsed today, It found its place at the bottom of the lake, In the dark I was not afraid, It felt like home in a kind of fucked up way Bring it here, Your bad, bad day, I'll inject it with absurd perspective, I'll show you resolve like you've never known, I am made of glass, I am made of stone On my back in a freezing garage, I'm a failure again, Then I'm on the phone, breaking down to my mom, The sun collapsed today
2.
You'll tell everyone everything, I'm sure Or at least what makes you look left in the dust And you won't, you'll never really try again Blame me for your problems and I'll try to do the same, I won't feel bad for doing what I know is best for me, For every time you said you cared I bit my tongue between my teeth, 'Til every time that I would speak I was spitting blood and for that, I'm sorry I said some things you didn't like that were based in fact, How inconvenient the truth is Blame me for your problems and I'll try to do the same, I won't feel bad for doing what I know is best for me, For every time you said you cared I bit my tongue between my teeth, 'Til every time that I would speak I was spitting blood and for that and only that, I'm sorry
3.
Salt Stains 03:03
There are salt stains on my glasses, Here's to feeling bad all the time, There are things that I don't understand, They outnumber the others I'm trying to think straight, believe me, I'm trying to be something more than just pain covered in skin There are blood stains on my guitar strings, Here's to feeling fine every once in a while, There are some things I don't understand, There's so much I don't understand, It all blurs together, I'm trying to hold it together I'm trying to think straight, believe me, I'm trying to be something more than just pills swallowed by flesh, I'm trying to get this believe me, Why does it feel like you don't believe me?
4.
I am a young man getting older, My cautious steps have taken me nowhere, But I've got some dirt on my hands now, I'm sure it looks like I've been digging my own grave, Maybe I am At the bottom of my brain collects a pool of all the time I've wasted, Until it overflows and consumes my whole body, I am a young man getting older I am alone now, with the exception of a few too far away, Time starts and time stops, Does it matter? Without them, it does not matter, I'd rather this be my grave than to have never loved like this At the bottom of my brain burns a compound of desire and loneliness, Until it burns right through and consumes my whole body, I am a young man getting older
5.
A year of therapy didn't do a fucking thing for me, I am back in the groove of tearing myself down in a dimlit room, I am lost, I'm caught up in a cycle of cynical thoughts, What a waste, to spend a life this way Sitting under the bridges looking up, Wondering what it'd be like to come down Now my stomach is sick, The medication is working its magic, I'm taking the easy way out, I'm doing what I gotta do to get by, And there's no shame in that Sitting on your parents' porch with you, It's starting to come together this time I am swimming in a haze of cigarette smoke and red wine, You are beautiful and everything, You are everything Lying on my bedroom floor alone, It will all come together in time, But it's never just fixed, It just never goes away, There's no permanent method that deems you forever free and saved, It takes work, it takes time, it takes patience, it takes love, It takes patience from those who you love
6.
Why does it feel like you hate me, I don't know, Your words, your hand lightly touching my arm, Fall on stone the second I sink into myself Why does it feel like you hate me, Why does it feel like this, My mind plays these games on me, And I get all turned around When does it feel like this when I do know, Your love, your gentle hand continue to reach to piece together broken glass, Why do I do this to myself, I do this to myself Why does it feel like you hate me, Why does it feel like this, My mind plays these fucking games on me, And I get all turned around
7.
8.
Mother 03:20
I know you know how much it takes to bottle it up, Keep it safe inside, I know you know I know you know all the terrible things that I can be, I know you know me I was not an easy birth, I was late, I always am And I know I'm late saying this, But you're more than I deserve, You are everything I could ask for in a mother, And when I think of you, nose pressed up against the glass, staring down my tiny, barely breathing, burning up, pudgy body, I can't help but regret to recollect every text that I ignored and every call I did not answer I hope you know how much you mean to a son like me
9.
Hard Luck 04:48
I had the blues, I let them eat me through, I had the blues, But I'm getting better all the time, it's true I'll have better luck next time I'm born, I'll be something everybody likes, I'll be something more I made such a mess, I was so careless, But it's all for the best, I'm getting better all the time I'll have better luck next time I'm born, I'll be something everybody likes, I'll be something more I'm getting nowhere fast, I'm getting somewhere slow Nancy told me so I'm getting nowhere fast, I'm getting somewhere slow, I'm still a mess, I know, I am made of glass, I am made of stone

about

Written and performed by Nate Leritz and Nathaniel Urband
Recorded by Nate Leritz in a basement in Clyde, Michigan
Album artwork by Carolyn Ambriano
Released by Road Soda Records

credits

released December 6, 2016

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Starter Garden Columbus, Ohio

Angst born in the mitten. Tastes like dandelions and woodchips.

Also see: nateleritzandthedisappointedparents.bandcamp.com

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